Just a Few More Winks!

Oiling Our Apparatus Aerobically

Often our lives are so hectic we feel we must cut corners somewhere in order to have time for everything. Exercise is frequently one of the things we cut. Yet, if we do not exercise aerobically at least three times a week, we are wreaking havoc on our bodies. Aerobic exercise is necessary to oxygenate our blood, revitalize our immune system, and keep our muscles healthy and supple.

Aerobic exercise is also good for the psyche. When we are depressed, sad, or confused, exercising helps us dispel the cobwebs. That is because one of the greatest side effects of aerobic exercise is the reduction of stress. We can begin exercising feeling stressed and depressed, and end the session feeling relaxed and alert through the body's release of its natural tranquilizers.

When our bodies are fit, well oiled with exercise, everything else becomes easier. Starting small is important so that we do not get discouraged - we can take a ten-minute walk, or ride a bike for five minutes - and, if possible, it's good to make a pact with a friend in order to support and encourage each other. The hardest part of exercising consistently is initially making the decision, and then setting aside the time in our schedule. Chances are, if we can stick to an exercise program for six months, we will be so happy with how we feel, that we will be hooked - and healthier - for life.

Be reminded that although it may be difficult, being kind to ourselves by having the courage to commit to an aerobic exercise program will enhance our health and sense of well-being.

Filling Ourselves First

We know it is important for our sense of well-being to give. In fact, there have been scientific studies which show that the immune system responds positively when we help others and can be activated by merely watching a film about someone helping others.

But it is not healthy to give until we feel drained, used, and deprived. Such giving can be laced with hostility, resentment, anger, and the unspoken message. "Now you owe me!" This is not loving; this is bartering. We love best from a sense of overflow. When we are brimming with the energy that comes with having the courage to take care of ourselves first, our love and caring are freely given gifts, with nothing expected in return.

Our minds may tell us that filling ourselves first is an act of selfishness - it seems to go against society's dictum, that it is more blessed to give than to receive. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to realize that filling ourselves is essential. It takes even more courage to know how to do it, especially if we are out of the habit of thinking about nourishing ourselves.

To help move into the healthy pattern of filling yourself, ask yourself these questions and jot down the answers. What small step can I take today to allow time for myself to fill and refill?

Always remember that we can do ourselves, and those we love, a favor by having the courage to fill our life's vase, by making a commitment to ourselves that, in order to be a free-flowing, clear fountain of love, we will fill ourselves first.

Uprooting "Rootless" Fears

We may decide there is nothing to do but live with a fear that seems irrational to us and grit our teeth in an attempt to bear with it. But there is a healthier way for us to proceed if we are experiencing fears that seem rootless, out of proportion to the apparent cause, or have no logical basis.

We need to give ourselves a priceless gift: time to explore confusing fears. The unknown can be so frightening that confronting fears, the origins of which we can only guess, takes tremendous courage. But it is also freeing, for only when fears are brought to conscious awareness will we be able to discover how to heal them. As long as fears are kept hidden, we are held helplessly in their grasp.

Since the root of our fears most often lies in childhood, we can expect to experience childlike feelings while rediscovering them. Seeking emotional support at such times is not dependence; it is wisdom. Taking the risk and having the courage to examine our seemingly rootless fears is best done in a protected and supportive environment.

Be reminded that before we begin to explore our inner demons, we need to find a person or a group with whom we feel safe, people we can trust implicitly with our vulnerability. It is okay to reach out and ask for assistance. In fact, it is essential.

Laughing with Our Klutz

It takes courage to laugh, to have a sense of humor. Why? Because when something is really funny it is a reflection of our own foibles and weaknesses, those things about ourselves which make us cringe. To have a good sense of humor, we must be able to not take ourselves too seriously - to increase our ability to laugh with, not at, ourselves as we stumble and stagger through the comedy of life.

This is especially difficult for women because we have been taught that how we look is incredibly important. As young people, we are definitely encouraged to be aware of what the neighbors would think, and that left many of us fearful of being judged if we acted in an unladylike manner. Becoming comfortable with ourselves when we have egg on our faces as well when we are doing things perfectly is a challenge, but ultimately makes us more fun to be around.

Helen was terrified of appearing foolish in front of others because she was afraid they would reject her. But that was really only her surface belief. Her deep, underlying conviction was that she was only lovable if she was perfect. When she began to change that belief by assuring herself she would love herself as a queen or a klutz, in strength and vulnerability, slim or chubby, she began to enjoy herself more. In fact, she has become so good at loving and reassuring her insecure inner child that she actually gets a kick out of her klutzy self now.

We can do as Helen did. Instead of seeing our klutzy self as a part of us we must hide, we can choose to view it as a charming and irresistible free spirit.

Refocusing Our Binoculars

All too often, we are overly self-critical. We believe that it is more acceptable for us to maximize our shortcomings and minimize our strengths. We have learned that it is not proper to toot our own horns.

Self-critical people see their mistakes leaping before them festooned with neon lights, while their triumphs wither from lack of attention. They look at their real or imagined shortcomings through powerful binoculars and look at their good points and successes, if at all, through the wrong end of the binoculars. Failures loom large and ominous, and successes look like specks on the horizon, mere accidents of nature.

It is courageous to refocus our binoculars, to give ourselves permission to move beyond self-critical thought patterns and realize what fantastic people we are. We can learn to "SEE": Savor Excellence Everyday by becoming an honest and appreciative mirror for ourselves. We choose to focus on the good in ourselves, learning from the things that we wish we had done better without allowing ourselves to magnify them out of proportion.

Making a list of things, we like and admire about ourselves and tucking it in our purse is a good way to help us reinforce change. If we notice ourselves focusing on the negatives about ourselves, we can take out our list, read it, and then add another positive to it. Maybe our positive will be that we noticed when our binoculars needed refocusing - that is a great habit breaker.

Kicking the Worry Habit

Worry is a habit that knocks the support right out from under us. So one of the most "freeing" changes we can make in our lives is to kick the worry habit. Since most habits are learned, it's important for us to ask where we learned to worry.

Joseph was a chronic worrier who hoped he could find relief from depression and insomnia. He said, "I was raised on worry and secondhand smoke, and I inhaled and absorbed the worry as much as I did the smoke".

Joseph explored the often unspoken but nevertheless powerful beliefs his parents had bequeathed. The majority of them were based on the assumptions that life was difficult, money was hard to come by, and God was a stern and punishing father. Joseph learned to believe that it never rained but it poured, there was never enough to go around, and that guilt was the only thing that could prevent him from being "condemned." Is it any wonder that Joseph became a worrier?

The only lasting antidote for chronic worry is faith, faith in the good, faith that the Universal Mystery is for us rather than against us. If we have learned to believe in the unfortunate and hateful, we have the ability to change that and come to believe in goodness and love. I know it's possible because Joseph did it, and so did I. As Joseph was starting to change his belief system, I gave him a little card that read, "Sometimes we have many reasons to be unhappy and not many reasons to be happy. Our task is to be unreasonably happy."

Always be reminded that if you are plagued by the worry habit, simply becoming aware of worry when it overtakes you and deciding to affirm that life is good will set your feet firmly on the road to kicking the worry habit. What we believe is our choice and we can support ourselves by choosing to be faith-filled and happy - even unreasonably so.

Excusing Is Often Inexcusable

To enjoy intimate and authentic relationships, we must be able to understand and forgive others and ourselves. But we women sometimes confuse excusing with understanding and forgiving. Excusing, a codependent and childish habit, is the first cousin of denial. Excusing others and ourselves lets us off the hook by not addressing the consequences or responsibilities of our behavior. Alcoholic families frequently "pivot" around excuses.

Inherent in the process of excusing is our willingness to take responsibility for the actions of others. Continually excusing unacceptable actions does not create a climate that fosters growth and learning, in fact it may be an implied put-down. When we excuse the inexcusable, we are subtly saying that the person who is excused is not capable of right behavior.

On the other hand, understanding is a strong strand in our emotional safety net. Understanding our own and others' actions and attitudes provides an honest framework in which we can create an atmosphere of acceptance and forgiveness - an environment in which people and relationships can mature and thrive.

Understanding requires commitment, energy, and the willingness to be with others and ourselves in a heartfelt and open way. We need to make the effort to search for the causes and motives behind our own negative behaviors or attitudes and do what is necessary to heal them. Of course we can't do that for others, but we can tell them when their behavior is unacceptable to us and gently remove ourselves from their presence.

Excusing may be initially more effortless than awareness, but it does not lead to intimacy, honesty, or authenticity.

12 Step Program of Recovery for Web Addicts

I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.

I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.

I will get dressed before noon.

I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.

I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.

I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.

I will read a book...if I still remember how.

I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.

I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.

I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.

I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.

Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime... and the Web will always be there tomorrow!

Loving from Overflow

Because taking time for ourselves is often a foreign idea, we need to have helpful reminders. When Suzanne turned fifty-nine, she decided it was time she had adolescence. As the eldest daughter of an old-fashioned European family, she had been the designated mother's helper and servant. Leaving her parents' home, she married and had six children of her own. Circumstances such as illness, moves, and the usual responsibilities of a large family dictated that she put herself last.

Never thinking of herself was such an ingrained habit that even now, at age seventy-five, she needs to give herself reminders to do so, such as paying her tuition in advance when she returned to school recently.

Many of us are in the same boat as Suzanne. We want to lighten our lives and nurture ourselves, but we do not know how. It helps to make a list of what fills us, gives us joy, and feels nurturing and healing. We need to check how much these people, activities, places, and attitudes we have listed are part of our lives.

In order to absorb the feeling of receiving, sit quietly and close your eyes. Gently ask for the picture of a vase, which represents you, your life's vessel, to come into your mind's eye. If the picture you see is not one you like, change it until you have a vase that pleases you. Now visualize all the fulfilling things you listed pouring into your vase. If good things refuse to fill your vase, stop and write in a journal any reasons you might feel unworthy. Gently reassure yourself that you deserve to have what you want and need.

Always remember that we love others best from our own overflow.

The Lotus Of Love

The human body, is the seat of a network of cooperating energy fields also known as chakras. At the very center of these fields, unifying and filtering them, lies the heart chakra (often called the heart lotus because its influence radiates outward like the petals of a flower).

The heart chakra is believed by many to be at the core of your emotional being. When balanced, it can be a source of love, confidence, creativity, and inspiration. The heart chakra gives us the ability to love, trust, and feel deep compassion for others. A balanced heart opens the mind to the radiating warmth of the universe and makes profound relationships possible. But when imbalanced, those same qualities can become twisted, leading us to feel hate, fear, or jealousy. Blockages in the fourth chakra can manifest as immune system and heart maladies because of the chakra's association with the physical heart, the circulatory system, and the blood.

There are numerous means of energizing and balancing this important energy center. Try sitting up with your back straight, and breathe deeply to center yourself. Rapidly tap your heart center, located in the middle of your chest, with your fingertips. Gradually increase and then decrease the intensity of your tapping over a three-minute period. Jasmine, lavender, and marjoram scents can also exert a balancing effect. Influence your heart chakra by loving yourself and learning to laugh freely. And while existing without its positive influence can leave you feeling disconnected, isolated, and filled with unexpressed emotions, too much heart chakra influence can lead to restlessness, dreaminess, and aimless wandering.

Always be reminded that the heart chakra is the point of new beginnings. Nurture it, and you will find that contentment will emerge from all aspects of your being.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Friends far and near,
Blessings big and small,
Smiles all around,
Happiness abound,
Thankful for this year
And the friends who filled each day
With comfort and kindness
In their own special way.

Wishing you all the joy and all the beauty of Thanksgiving!

In All Kinds of Weather

When we are close friends with someone, we intuitively know when they need a hug, a helping hand, or a sympathetic ear. Likewise, when we are going through bleak periods in our lives, we count on friends to support us through loss, illness, and other setbacks, both big and small. In addition, while part of being a good friend means being there when the other person needs us, it is just as important to be there for our friends so we can share in their joyous celebrations and triumphs.

After all, who else would our friends want to celebrate their promotions, graduations, marriages, and good news with than their loved ones and good friends. Yet depending on what is happening in our lives, it can sometimes be difficult to be there for our friends during the good times. We can become so busy with our own lives that we forget to make time. On the other hand, we may be so focused on our own problems that we may not feel like celebrating with our friends. We may even take their joyful moments for granted, assuming that as long as we are there for our friends during the bad times that we are doing our jobs. Yet part of being a true friend means also being there during the good times. Success and happiness can feel empty without someone to share them with, and who better to join in our victory dances than our good friends.

Taking the time from our busy lives to honor our friends' happy moments is a wonderful way to show them that they matter. And in many ways, by wanting you around during their happy occasions, your friends are also honoring you. After all, it is the people we cherish that we want around us to sing at our birthdays, visit our newborn babies, and pop open that bottle of champagne with when we reach a milestone moment.

The next time a friend wants you to be there to celebrate with them, remember to feel honored that they thought of asking you. Together, you can celebrate their happiness and your rich friendship.

Tagged!

I was tagged by April.

Mostly random facts about myself that I am willing to share to the rest.

My side:

Twenty facts about the Damsel:

1. I love my cheeblings to the max.
2. Just recently, I got confirmation that I am a Type 2 Diabetic.
3. I do have Hypothyroidism (Hashimoto's Disease) and that is the reason why I am so chubby.
4. I love traveling.
5. I am an obsessive-compulsive freak.
6. I do believe in Santa Claus.
7. I do love to swim and breaststroke is my forte.
8. I do love playing the piano.
9. I love writing. You should see my paper and cards collection.
10. I love sending greeting cards to friends and families. I never forget a birthday even anniversaries. You will definitely receive a greeting (online, post or a call) on your special day.
11. I love Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
12. I love taking pictures. I consider them my treasures. I cannot leave home without my digital cam.
13. I still and will not easily forget Joaquin Joseph De Leon. He is the ultimate love of my life.
14. I do love good food with good conversations. Lunch/dinner for me can last for more than two hours with good friends.
15. Rachelle wants me to leave Manila soon and to forget a number of people who made my life hell for a few months.
16. Dad just gave me an iPod Shuffle. Thanks, Dadi! However, I am not a big fan of earphones.
17. I cannot wait for my new mobile phone to arrive. I will miss my Nokia 9210i for sure.
18. I love watching movies. I always go for the first full show during opening day.
19. I miss my EconBlock3A blockmates. Bonding times with them is one of the best times of my life. Paging, Sister Taba!
20. It is almost a month since I last pinched the tummy of my "little sister".

Next to tag is Cynch, Rachelle and Rhea.

Smoothing Transitions

Begin by making small changes or break up large-scale changes into more manageable increments. This can make you feel better about handling the changes you are about to make while making you more comfortable with change in general.

Mentally link changes to established daily rituals. This can make changes like taking on a new habit, starting a new job, or adapting to a new home happen much more smoothly. For example, if you want to begin meditating at home, try weaving it into your morning routine.

Going with the flow can help you accept change instead of resisting it. If you stay flexible, you will be able to ride out change without too much turbulence.

When a change feels most stressful, relief can often be found in finding the good that it brings. An illness, a financial loss, or a broken relationship can seem like the end of the world, yet they also can be blessings in disguise.

Remember that all change involves a degree of learning. If you find change particularly stressful, try to keep in mind that after this period of transformation has passed, you will be a wiser person for it.

Remember that upheaval and confusion are often natural parts of change. While we can anticipate certain elements that a change might bring, it is impossible to know everything that will happen in advance. Be prepared for unexpected surprises, and the winds of change won't easily knock you over.

Don't feel like you have to cope with changing circumstances or the stress of making a change on your own. Talk about what's going on for you with a friend or write about it in a journal. Sharing your feelings can give you a sense of relief while helping you find the strength to carry on.

Give yourself time to accept any changes that you face. And as change happens, recognize that you may need time to adjust to your new situation. Allow yourself a period of time to reconcile your feelings. This can make big changes feel less extreme.

No matter how large or difficult a change is, you will eventually adapt to these new circumstances. Remember that regardless of how great the change, all the new that it brings will eventually weave itself into the right places in your life.

If you're trying to change a pattern of behavior or navigate your way through a life change, don't assume that it has to be easy. Wanting to cry or being moody during a period of change is natural. Then again, don't assume that making a change needs to be hard. Sometimes, changes are meant to be that easy.

Be reminded that "the hurrier you go, the behinder you get" so slow and easy wins the change.

New Certified Professional Librarians

Out of 742 examinees, 240 passed and Top No. 4 is Iyra "Cutie" S. Buenrostro. Along with Iyra are the bodyguards namely, Jeremy Arevalo, Norman Noor Azman and Michael "Pareng Mike" Villanueva will also be present for the oath taking ceremony on Friday, Nov. 25, 1:30 p.m., at the Manila Hotel.

Other board passers that I met this year are Lisette (Top No. 10), Daisy, Loren, and Jhoanne.

Congratulations on your excellent performance! A toast to all of you and a round of applause. Now its time to celebrate and be merry!

The Gemini Woman

"A good-looking woman with brains, a very interesting person. She has a fast movement and she could not sit still or stand still long. She is able to do many things at the same time and do it fast. If you date her, you will feel like dating many women at the same time. You cannot tie her down with the word "Love" because she cares about love but is it not a major factor of her life. You have to be able to adjust yourself to get along with her many different characters.

She is a dreamer and has many dreams. She eager to learn something new all the time. Even she is the 2 in 1 mixed character type, she is quite lucky in love. You have to put all your efforts to win her affection. Even when she likes you and wonder about your wit, she will also see and inspect your bad side at the same time, because it is in her nature.

She able to keep all kinds of mixed emotions without annoying you or letting you know at all. She can cheer you up by acting like a free little bird. Her conversation will not bore you. She able to talk to you in any subjects. She can make you feel like you are the luckiest man alive. She can make you feel like she needs all your care, but once she needs to stand-alone; she can stand-alone firmly and comfortably.

She can be your best friend and talk to you about anything. She can join all your activities with the same energy that you have. She is a quick wit person and learns new things very fast. She can see your projects and she can give you good advice. If she thinks you are not sure that you want her for yourself, she will act like your best friend only, a cool woman.

She can easily make a guy fall in love with her. Her multiple changes and many moods is a "Charm" for many men. She can be laughing for two minutes and later suddenly quiet. She wants to find only one true love and she wants to meet her dream guy. She expects a lot and nearly too much. She is constantly waiting for her knight shinning armor even she is with a steady boy friend. She can fall in love or fond of someone else while she is with you. If you break up with her, she will forget you quite fast, because change is in her nature. The Gemini woman breaks more heart than woman in other Zodiac. Because she is a dreamer and always waiting for her knight shinning armor, so her love life can be complex or a mess.

She hates to write a long letter, so if you write her a letter and expect a prompt reply, forget it. Because she has a multiple personality and multiple ideas, so she hates to put them down in written proof. Because she knows what she, belief today can be different tomorrow.

She could communication with more than one language, a very gifted linguistic. If she wants to tell you any bad comments, she will not say it straight away, but she will talk to you about many other things and accidentally come to that subject without offending you. Normally she will not lie.

She will work hard and once a while take a long rest. She can get bored and tired with her own surrounding more than at work. She never feel content with her present work, money, or reputations, she will drive to have more. Do not ask her what her ultimate contentment is for she will not have an answer.

Once you get to know her, she will be a supportive person and always be beside you. She has a beautiful dream and she loves to have someone walk side by side with her, together and equally."

I am a Gemini Woman... and I love it!

Letting Your Soul Be Heard

When we allow ourselves to be witnessed by another, we cannot help but be transformed by the experience. Whether we are sharing a personal experience, standing in front of friends to celebrate a special occasion, or expressing our unbridled joy or sorrow in front of a loved one, we are allowing ourselves to be seen and experienced in a very intimate way.

Not only are we baring ourselves to someone else, but we are allowing that person to hold a very specific kind of space with us so this powerful act can take place. To be witnessed is to let ourselves be seen as we truly are in that moment.

Our friends and loved ones can easily be witnesses for us, if only we are brave enough to let them. Your next birthday may be the perfect occasion to experience this sacred act: Invite your friends and loved ones to your special day. During the celebration, stand in front of them and thank them for being there for you.

Feel their gratitude, attention, warmth, and support, while noticing the sense of safety you feel as they surround you. If you feel inspired, share your innermost thoughts about the day and your life. You may be surprised at the feelings of peace and validation that arise within you, when you feel safe enough to go deep into your soul and share yourself with those you trust.

Anyone who has ever seen love, admiration, acceptance, or appreciation reflected in a friend or loved one's eyes knows how transformative that experience can be. When you bare yourself to another, you are giving them the gift of you and showing them that they also matter.

At present creating peaceful surroundings and suggesting that in letting yourself be witnessed, you are letting others into your intimate space, stepping in the sacred container they have created for you, and creating a cauldron of positive affirmation, support, love, and goodwill that will stay with you forever.

Really Sad but Truly Meaningful

Learn To Be Lonely
The Phantom of the Opera Movie Soundtrack
Performed by Minnie Driver
Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber
Lyric by Charles Hart

Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness

Who will be there for you
Comfort and care for you
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion

Never dreamed, out in the world
There are arms to hold you
You've always known
Your heart was on it's own

So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to be lonely
Learn how to love
Life that is lived alone

Learn to be lonely
Life can be lived
Life can be loved alone

A second glance at the lyrics and continuous playing of the track, it sank inside my brain and I was moved, it was sad but truly meaningful. I guess that sometimes it is better off alone� You cannot get hurt and you will not cry anymore� It hurts just to breathe.

Remembering Lola Chayong

Today marks the second death anniversary of Lola Chayong, the famous Mrs. Rosario Vicaldo Mackay, our maternal grandmother who joined our Creator last November 1, 2003.

Everybody misses her. I can always bet the whole family misses her, I know they do.

As a tradition, we trekked to my Mom�s ancestral home and prepared for Lola�s death anniversary and our youngest cousin, Kristian Carl�s fourth birthday.

Mom cooked Dinuguan and Baked Macaroni, Auntie Fe prepared Pancit Canton, Uncle Jun ordered Puto and Kutsinta while I prepared the famous Menudo sandwich that Lola Chayong prepares yearly as merienda during All Saint�s Day.

The weather cooperated today with a slight breeze all throughout our stay at Lola�s mausoleum.

I do miss Lola Chayong�s specialties like the Banana Cake, Pineapple Pie and her own style of Spaghetti. Whenever I see Green Apples, Green Seedless Grapes and KFC�s Mashed Potatoes, I cannot help but smile, shed a tear and remember her.

Nowadays whenever I go home to 1635, I can only shout out loud the words, �Auntie Fe, nandito na ako!� yet before, all I know and until now I can still hear myself shouting, �Lola, nandito na kami! Anong niluto mo para sa akin?�.

I know she is happy where she is right now and I should be happy that she is resting in Heaven. I also know she is looking down and keeping an eye on us.

Lola Chayong� how I wish I can bake your famous Banana Cake and I can eat the cakes with Mom and the rest of the family. We miss you!