Laws of Life

Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items atthe store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two ofthe first five.

Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to thecorporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes andjust small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to bedoing, you'll want to be doing something else.

Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will softenwhen stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed.When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.