How to Get a Life

It is never easy to overcome a serious Internet addiction, or a hard-core computer gaming habit, but here are some easy steps to recovery!

Difficulty Level: Hard
Time Required: Years

Here is how:

1. Let go of the mouse.
2. Turn off the computer.
3. Play a game of solitaire with a real deck of cards.
4. Eat something other than taco chips.
5. Get some sleep in bed rather than on your keyboard.
6. Next time you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, do not tell everyone on your buddy list about it.
7. Open a window without turning your computer back on (yes, it is possible).
8. Very gradually expose your eyes to increasingly bright light so as to avoid damage or permanent sun blindness.
9. If you see someone, say "Hi" to them instead of trying to make the modem connect sound.
10. Visit a friend that you have not spoken to in years because they don't have an email address.
11. Have ".com" officially removed from behind your name.
12. Go on a date with someone you did not meet in a chat room.