Always the Bridesmaid

To those reading this post, some may ask why I posted it in the first place, others would think why be a bridesmaid, still some might find it offensive, but please bear in mind that these are my opinions and my experiences... in the end I hope people getting married or playing bridesmaid would learn from this experience of mine.

For the nth time, I walked down the aisle as a bridesmaid. Good thing is that it was at Ja and Ka Roger’s wedding last Saturday, the 2nd of December.

I do not have anything against being a bridesmaid or a maid of honor. In fact, to be part of an entourage is an exciting experience. You get to wear a nice dress, walk the aisle in front of a number people (most of them you don’t know) and then mingle in the reception wishing to meet someone, on the side.

For this particular wedding, I didn’t know why but I was not that thrilled that I was thinking of not going and fulfilling my duties. It was also one of my inaanak’s 7th birthday in Tagaytay and my parents told them that I’ll be present. Though I’ve known of the wedding more than a month before its schedule, Joanna Camille’s birthday is a must for our family. Good thing my Mom is in Manila and decided that she’ll be the one to attend the birthday and bring our gifts. However, Mom was not able to go and I still went to the wedding.

The venue is quite far from Manila, so I calculated travel time and make sure that I’m early. My loving yaya, Juvy, went with me to the affair. One of the reasons why I wasn’t that excited was because I was not feeling well. Flu season is up and as usual, I was a victim. Another reason was that I didn’t know anybody in the wedding except for the bride and groom and the bride’s parents. I didn’t even have the idea that my dress will blend in with the rest of the entourage.

With all the thoughts, I greeted Saturday and the soon-to-be married couple by sending them a beautiful message and wishing them a lifetime of love and togetherness.

I even asked Maricel, the bride’s officemate and friend what time she’ll be in the Church. She only told me, “Ms. Rain, pupunta po kami, basta mapayagan, antayin mo lang. Subukan namin lahat ng puedeng gawin.” Hay! I’m sad. Sana dumating si Icel.

Dad’s driver fetched me at my place and went home to my parent’s house. My Mom wanted to see me before going to Cainta and Manang Luz fixed my hair. As early as 10am I was already eating lunch and by 12noon, I was all set to go.

Mom and Yaya Helen were also set to leave for Tagaytay but a call from NAIA cancelled their trip. Mom fetched my dearest Auntie Rhoda and Uncle Luc (from Montreal) from the airport and brought them home to Olongapo. Since they arrived at 11:30am, Mom rushed to NAIA, not seeing me before leaving the wedding. This was not the first time. It happened before during BF Ruth’s wedding. Thank heaven for MMS and 3G, Yaya Helen took shots of me. Even as I was getting in the car, with Mang Ruben and Yaya Juvy, she kept taking pictures.

1:00pm and I was still traversing C5, Yaya Juvy was busy checking the batteries of the digicams that we brought along and made sure that my “baunan” was with me, so was my pamaypay. I told Ja and Ka Roger that I was on my way and hopefully it wouldn’t be a madhouse along Junction and Cainta.

Though it was a short ride, I dozed off. Mang Ruben woke me up when we reached the church and I was really smiling. Why? I came in early, 1:35pm. Mang Ruben looked for a shady place to park and asked around for the nearest restroom. I refreshed myself a bit and started my way up the front doors of the Our Lady of Light Parish.

We saw the flower girls playing with their pink dresses and with their Moms, but we didn’t see the groom. It was close to 2pm when the bridal car pulled in with the parent’s bride and another vehicle with the rest of the entourage. One by one, the principal sponsors walked to the entrance. A buzz of excitement was felt.

If you’ll ask me, I was a bit irritated already. Why? The terrible sun was directly in our face and the coordinator was not performing her duties. She was busy chatting with the rest of her friends and yet she can see that the flower girls were already agitated with the heat. Then the flowers for the girls were distributed, somebody mentioned as she was distributing the flowers, “o, para sa bridesmaid na di natin kilala!”. WTF!

I didn’t ask the part to be the bridesmaid and what do I get? I was really hurt but I smiled anyway. I loved Ja as my little sister and her Mom’s such a sweetheart that I can’t afford to be a prima donna.

Another girl was busy fixing the line, while I was asked if I was a member of the entourage, I smiled and said “Opo, ako si Ralline, isa ako sa mga bridesmaid.” I deliberately talked in Filipino with an elevated pitch so that the rest could see that I didn’t have my bouquet yet.

For this wedding, they paired bridesmaids while walking down the aisle. Sorry for my partner, Roxanne, she was skinny and I’m fat. I don’t know why but all of them were walking a bit fast for a wedding. I on the other hand, was walking myself lazily to the front of the altar. Of course, I had to pose for my Yaya before sitting down.

I was wondering as I was fixing myself in the assigned row that the second row’ was empty. Hmm... and yet our row’s full packed. It was only the maid of honor who sat at that row to think that a principal sponsor was seated in a monoblock chair. Sad.

The wedding ceremony breezed through our faces. The officiating priest was not even reading the missalette that was given out to us. I loved the lady who was singing; her voice was enchanting. A good thing was that I could feel some wind inside the church. As the priest was busy performing his duties, I on the other hand was also busy looking for Maricel and Malou. Ha, wala pa din!

Two things that I always wait for during weddings are the part where the priest asks the audience if there’s somebody who doesn’t want the celebration to proceed and the “you may kiss the bride” routine. For this wedding, no mention of the first part but the last part was very funny. Ka Roger was too shy to kiss his lovely bride. Was he really shy or was he holding back his true feelings?!! Hahahaha! Gotcha!

It was pictures galore with the newlyweds and still, no Maricel yet. Like I said earlier, the other bridesmaids were not that anxious to be friends; they didn’t even call me for the picture taking. Ha! It was Ja’s Dad who told the photographer that I was still alive. Hay. Tip for the rest, befriend your seatmates.

Yaya Juvy was laughing beside me during the pictorials. I was really laughing my heart out, wondering if we can just sneak out and leave. Nah, I’m not that bad. I waited for everybody to leave and walk out as newlyweds.

Good thing that Ja’s Mom joined me in the car going to the reception. I would have been lost for sure is she didn’t come. Largo’s Nature Garden is inside a small subdivision but the place was cute. It was close to 4pm and the heat of the sun was still very active that everybody decided to go inside.

When I entered the reception, we didn’t find an empty seat. Yaya Juvy mentioned that I needed to take a short meal since it has been hours since my last meal. Good for us that the caterer was able to set up additional tables and we got to seat in the shade.

No one informed me that as a bridesmaid I had to wait outside until we were all introduced. Hah! I just watched the entourage enter the reception and gladly took pictures.

The food was okay. I was not able to taste the dessert. The line was too long to go back and our table was on the far end. As we finish our meal, Maricel called. She was waiting, with the rest of the CSM staff outside the reception, for an empty table. Lucky for us, that the five Batanguenos in our table left after eating and I told Maricel that they could come in.

The usual ceremonial duties of newlyweds followed with a male host, which name I forgot; he even sang during the reception. It was close to 530pm when everything was completed and most of the guests started to leave the reception.

What were my comments during the reception? (I always have them don’t I?!) I don’t think I have the powers to write everything down. Ha, ha, ha! Nothing bad, just that I still feel the rejection and all along, I thought it was only me that felt that way, marami pala kami!

I was happy that Ja and Roger are now married and we will continue to be good friends. They were there by my side during the not so good times and they really are a great couple.

I’m only sad that I don’t have a picture with the bride. I was able to get a picture with the groom before the evening ended but not with my little sister.

Yaya Juvy enjoyed posing for pictures within the reception as we were leaving. We dropped off Jannice’s parents at Marick. I was able to have a long chat with Janette yet we forgot to take pictures. Janette, pagbalik ko sa PHC, wag kalimutan!

I went home with a smile. There was no crying during and after the wedding. Everybody was happy and Ja’s all glowing with the beautiful event that just finished and with the upcoming new adventure.

As I reach our house, I was still dreaming of my perfect wedding… would it ever come?

I have never been married, but have attended my fair share of it. There are things that have to be attended to whether by the couple getting married or the immediate family or failing that by friends attending the wedding.

If one can afford a wedding coordinator, make sure that he/she is qualified to do the job and knows exactly what needs to be done before, during and after the wedding/reception. If a friend offers to do it, make sure you give instructions as to how you want the guests to be treated (at least with respect is expected).

Most of all, the couple getting married should take time to greet every single guest that came to the wedding. This is a must, after all you invited them to share your special day.

Yeah, I know... I can talk about it simply because it's not my wedding. Who knows maybe soon you'll have the chance to talk about mine...