Clouds Behind the Silver Lining

As early as 11pm last night, I decided to cut off ties with two people that I�ve melted my heart out with love and fondness. This decision did not come easy, but maybe some good will come out of it.

I really don�t know what the reason is or what my connection is with these two people but every time I am with their company, I enjoy myself and feel contentment in life. I would think that�s reason enough to keep a friendship going, don�t you?

Yet, to clear the atmosphere, I really have to be brave and use all my will to do so. (Yes, if you can see me now, I am crying � as usual!).

If you know who I am, you won�t be surprised if you�re showered with love, generosity, care and my so powerful embraces and my kakulitan. I�ve already experienced a number of failed relationships especially with my so-called friends because of my tendency to �overdo� my natural friendly act.

Nevertheless, all the shitty stuff vanished into thin air with the way these two people showed me how they appreciated my concern and bigheartedness. Usually, the so-called friends usually grab every opportunity they could get for all the freebies when they are near me. These two however, would turn down offers of generosity and at times would actually fight me for it.

This is my life and this is my money, I could spend my time and my money anyway I want and to be with anybody that I feel can make me happy. Life is too short to do otherwise.

Funny but I still fight for it. I know nothing is wrong with what we are doing and yet there are �issues� coming out which tend to cloud our friendship. Issues which are proliferated by people around us whether out of envy or just plain malice. Should I be affected? Ideally, I should not, but in reality I still get affected when people try to undermine the good and turn it into something bad. I am only human after all.

I�m on my last year before stepping into the 30�s mark. I must admit my days are not getting any younger and though I might go on nights out, the feeling of loneliness weighs heavily on my shoulders. With everything that�s been happening, I feel that it is now time to think and re-assess where I�m headed in this life. Friendships (real ones) are so hard to find these days that I loath to give it up.

It is close to 5am and I�m getting ready for work, will I be able to do it? Be brave and put on a mask and let go? Hard, painful but best efforts.

You know who you are� love you both!