Things to Say When Stressed Out

I like the last one!

Loss for words when the going gets tough? This ought to be your guide the next time:

• "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!!!"
• "You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing?!"
• "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"
• "Well, this day was a total waste of make-up."
• "Well, aren’t we a bloody ray of sunshine?"
• "Don’t bother me, I’m living happily ever after."
• "Do I look like a fucking people person!"
• "This isn’t an office. It’s HELL with fluorescent lighting!"
• "I started out with nothing… still have most of it left."
• "I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me."
• "YOU!! … Off my planet!!!"
• "Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose."
• "Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control."
• "Errors have been made. Others will be blamed."
• "And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be…?"
• "I’m not crazy. I’ve been in a very bad mood for 30 years."
• "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."
• "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed."
• "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"
• "I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable"
• "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet."
• "Back off!! You’re standing in my aura."
• "Don’t worry. I forgot your name too."
• "I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?"
• "I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."
• "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?"
• "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."
• "Wait… I’m trying to imagine you with a personality…"
• "Chaos, panic, and disorder… my work here is done."
• "Ambivalent? Well, yes and no."
• "You look like shit. Is that the style now?"
• "Earth is full. Go home."
• "Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?"
• "I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."
• "A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth."
• "You are depriving some village of an idiot."
• "If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport."
  

Those where the days… Wink, wink!