Filling Ourselves First

We know it is important for our sense of well-being to give. In fact, there have been scientific studies which show that the immune system responds positively when we help others and can be activated by merely watching a film about someone helping others.

But it is not healthy to give until we feel drained, used, and deprived. Such giving can be laced with hostility, resentment, anger, and the unspoken message. "Now you owe me!" This is not loving; this is bartering. We love best from a sense of overflow. When we are brimming with the energy that comes with having the courage to take care of ourselves first, our love and caring are freely given gifts, with nothing expected in return.

Our minds may tell us that filling ourselves first is an act of selfishness - it seems to go against society's dictum, that it is more blessed to give than to receive. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to realize that filling ourselves is essential. It takes even more courage to know how to do it, especially if we are out of the habit of thinking about nourishing ourselves.

To help move into the healthy pattern of filling yourself, ask yourself these questions and jot down the answers. What small step can I take today to allow time for myself to fill and refill?

Always remember that we can do ourselves, and those we love, a favor by having the courage to fill our life's vase, by making a commitment to ourselves that, in order to be a free-flowing, clear fountain of love, we will fill ourselves first.