Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Loving in Unloving Ways is Not Love at All

You can usually tell when someone is afraid of love. They simply will not let you into their heart. A person who is afraid of love will behave in the most inappropriate ways in an effort to turn you off. A person who is afraid of love will find all sorts of things wrong with who they are and will point these things out to you. They will also find all sorts of things wrong with you, which they will also point out. People who are afraid of love cannot not give it, nor can they receive it. They will have so many barriers and defenses that you will end up asking yourself, "Why am I trying to get through this stuff?"

A person who is afraid of love may believe that they will not measure up to what you expect of them. Often, this is because they have not lived up to what they expect of them self. A person who is afraid of love will pull you in and out like a yo-yo. Today they want you, tomorrow they do not. The closer you get, the faster they run. The more you give, the more they want. You will never be able to prove yourself to a person who is afraid of love because they do not want to believe you!

When you find yourself trying to love a person who demonstrates that they are not willing to be loved, stop yourself! Stop trying to force them to accept what they obviously do not want or cannot handle. Stop making excuses for them. Stop accepting their excuses. It is very unloving to push someone beyond the point they are willing to go.

You may not have understood that trying to love someone who does not want to be loved is an invasion. Or that an invasion is not a loving act. Ask yourself if you are trying to force love on someone. If the love you are offering another is not being welcomed or invited in, back up!

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