Highs and Lows

His voice...
520pm: Dat was so low..Even 4 u..I canot beliv how shallow u r..I trustd u..I always thot dat u of all pipol will do d ryt thing..Un pla..Ur jst a lod of carp.

548pm: Kausapin mo c ate Janis..Tanungn mo cya kng bkt ko gnawa ung gnwa ko "U r so low" Unbelivabl..Sobrang unbelivable..

609pm: Ang BOBO MO!!Kaasar k..Mahal n mahal kta blang kaptd..Gngwa ko lht to kc para mkta mo n d ako ka2lad ng ibang tao n pgtapos kna gmtn ita2pon..Hindi ako ganun..ang BOBO MO BOBO!Pinagma2laki kta plagi..Never ktang cniraan..Ang bobo mo tlga..ang bobo mo..D kna tlaga ngiiicp ngaun

620pm: Oo ang tanga mo..Kng ndi ta2nungin c te jans..Ako mgsa2bi sau..Inaway kta.. Para A. Mkta mo ung ibang tao na nakapalgd sau, ka2lad ni ate jean- Ilang beses k iniyakn n ate jean,nung inaway kita tngnan mo naapric8 mo cya.. B.Ayoko n gnagas2san moko, u nid ol d mony u cn get ayaw ko mgng rison para gumastos k.. C.Kelangan mo ng malayo s KDAS kc ndi healty sau concernd ako para sau..Tapos ako ang pnakarison kng bkt ngpplut ka mgstay..Gnaw ko lhat para sau..bobo mo tlaga.

625pm: Tapos ang pnaka huling rison ko..Ang bobo mo kc,kya 2loy kht cno lng pde ka Iabvse..Ayoko un,mabait kang tao..I had hoped n sa pgaway ko sau ma222nan mo ung leson nato para mgng masaya k..Manga2long ung leson s "kptd" mo..Para controlado ko sarili ko..Alam ko lht, tapos NXPECT ko n MAIICP MO RIN.. Pro mli..

629pm: Mukhang ndi..Kc kng naicip mo..Ndi k ngkaganyan..I'm so disapointd..Yan n bang 22ong side mo..Ung hindi ngpa2kamartyr..Ang panget..sobra!

635pm: Cnasbi mo n 22o k..N gngwa mo ay ung plagng tama..Pro..Un pla.. Plastic..Nka2disapoint..Sobra..Bilang isang tao..Bilang "UP" s2dent..Bilang isang "ate"..

645pm: I never was d best brother.Bt I always thot na nanjan k.Para itama ako at iguide ako.Un pla. Basura lng ako sau nkpagtapos n..Ccrain at ita2pon..Wla nkong ssbhn

807pm: Always ktang kharap at hnarap..Yet bakstaber k pla.. Npakawlangkwenta mong kausap..plastic..amp!

My voice...
After a lot of thinking and sorting out what happened last night, I am posting this for everybody to know who I am now and who I should be. I know that a number of people will definitely get mad with what is written. He, however, (yes you, and you know who you are), for whom I have unfortunately wasted time, will no doubt pretend that he could not care less. And believe me, neither do I now.

Low is as low as it gets. Only the lowest to those who deserve it. Why do you think you deserve better? I do the right things to the right people, but do not expect to be treated right when you do not know what that concept means. I might be a load of crap, but as they say, it takes one to know one.

I do not have to ask other people why you do the thing that you do. If you cannot say it yourself, tough! I do not want the opinion of others when it comes to what you did.

Do not delude yourself that you know what it means to love someone like a brother or a sister. You do not know what that means. You are not capable of it because you only think of yourself first before you think of others. Yes, I might be dumb, the dumbest in fact, but only because I believed in you when all the signs said you could not be trusted. I should have kept my eyes open and let my mind do the thinking. I let my guard down, and admittedly, that is the dumbest thing I could have done.

You talk about being concerned - for whom? Me? I hardly think so. Do not give yourself credit for something that you are not capable of doing or feeling. Now I can see that you delude even yourself of the truth. You did everything for yourself.

You are right on that one; I did let you abuse me. In the beginning, I did not think of it that way, because I am not that kind of person, but to think that you of all people would go that low to abuse me. Moreover, you actually have the gall to say it is out of concern for me? Do not make me laugh! I did learn a lesson from you, it has not to trust people like you who said that they are concerned for me and that I am like a sister to them.

Do not be too disappointed. I am not. I saw you for what you really are. That is good enough.

Like I said, the real me is reserved for the people who deserve it. If I came across as "plastic" to you, that is because that is exactly what you are. You get what you give. You acted that way that is why people come across that way to you. I am a better example of a UP student than you ever would be. At least I have the decency to act professional when it is called for. As for being a sister, I tried that, but you were never a brother to me.

You were never a brother. I was here, and yes, I have decided to dump you because you are not worth it. Good if you do not have anything to say. No one will listen anyway.

You always hide behind your lies or some other person to say things for you. You want to know the truth? You are a coward. And cowards get what they deserve.

As for the rest, treat me however, you want. Treat me as your mentor, your role model, your worst enemy, your dear sister, or treat me as dead, that is all fine with me. I could not care less.

Too tired to continue being blamed, being the enemy, being abused, being the goody good shoes - everything stops now.


My thoughts...
Minsan mahirap tanggapin na may mga taong makitid ang pag-iisip. Minsan mahirap tanggapin na may mga taong akala mo e may nalalaman ngunit wala naman pala. Minsan mahirap maintindihan na ang mga taong may pinag-aralan naman ay wala naman palang natutuhan. Sayang ang ginastos sa pag-aaral. Minsan mahirap tanggapin na ang taong akala mo e tao ay hindi pala.

Mas madali na isipin para sa isang tao na tama lahat ang kanyang ini-isip. Na tama ang lahat ng kanyang sinasabi. Ngunit kung susuriin mo kung ano ang mga lumalabas sa kanyang bibig at kung ano ang kanyang mga ikinikilos, makikita mo ang tutoo. Na ang taong ito ay nabubuhay lamang para sa kanyang sarili. Ang taong ito ay takot sa ibang tao na may kakayahang mahigitan sya sa kahit anong bagay. Bakit? Dahil mahirap tanggapin sa sarili na ang kanyang pagkatao ay kulang. Kulang dahil walang lalim ang kayang pagkatao, dahil ang layunin nya ay umangat habang nakatuntong sa iba, at nang hindi na pumayag ang tinutungtungan, wala syang ibang pwedeng gawin kundi sirain ang taong dapat sana ay nakatulong sa kanya. Kaya nya itong gawin at magtago sa dahilang ito ay ginagawa nya para sa kapakanan ng iba. Tama? Natural, dahil sya lamang ang may tamang pag-iisip at ang ibang tao ay walang alam, bobo ika nga. Ngayon, kapag naman ang ibang tao ay lumaban sa kanya, madali din niyang masasabi na isa kang ipokrita, plastik, bullsyet.

Dapat bang paniwalaan ang taong ganito? Madali syang paniwalaan dahil magaling syang mambola ng tao. Kahit pa nga ang pwede mong masabing matalino e kaya nyang lokohin. Kesehoda pang gradweyt ka ng UP at sya ay hindi. Ang panloloko ay hindi sinusukat kung saan nagtapos ang isang tao kundi sa kagustuhan nya na manloko.

Minsan masusukat mo ang pagkatao sa mga katagang lumalabas sa kanyang bibig. Minsan naman, ang mga salita ay kusang binabanggit dahil ito lamang ang paraan upang ipaintindi sa iba ang gusto mong sabihin. Ito ay dahil sa hanggang dito lang ang kaya ng kanyang kaalaman. Mataas man ang tingin ko sa aking sarili, ito ay dahil may mga nagawa na ako na ikinataas ko. Hindi ang isang mababang gawa mo ang pwedeng magbaba sa akin dahil wala kang karapatan. Huwag kang magtago sa dahilan na itinuring mo akong kapatid dahil alam mo na hindi iyan ang tutoo. Hindi ka tataas dahil sa paggamit mo sa akin dahil wala ka namang laman sa iyong kalooban na magpapataas sa iyong kinalalagyan. Kung mababa ang tingin ko sa iyo ay dahil sa ganyan ka talaga kababa at kung bumaba naman ang tingin mo sa akin ay wala yang kaso dahil mas mababa ka at di abot ang aking narating. Kung ayaw mong may marinig ay huwag kang magsalita.

Kung ayaw mong may kumilos ay huwag kang manulak. Gumawa ka ng sa iyo at tumahimik habang ginagawa mo ito. Tigilan ang pagtalak dahil dinaig mo pa ang babae sa pagtalak. At tigilan mo ang pagmamarunong dahil wala kang alam.